Today I celebrated summer by attending a baseball game at Dodger stadium. Surrounded by people in crisp blue shirts, micro-Daisy Dukes, and hats that hadn’t yet been worn in, I realized that this (along with hair bands) was the perfect way to pass a summer afternoon. But even at a baseball game, you can still commit a social faux pas, so let’s review some things that are bad ideas to do for that reason:


  1. Play any part in escalating a fight. Yes, you’re a badass, but you still probably won’t hit the asshole two rows behind you who’s trash-talking your team. Give it up.
  2. Carry more beer than you can handle. Don’t be a hero — use the cardboard tray.
  3. Be too cool for the wave. No one’s too cool for the wave.
  4. Grab a baseball away from a child when it’s hit into the stands.
  5. Be one of the two people who, by the end of the game, are drunk and beligerently yet predictably yelling obscenities/incomprehensible trash talk in the general direction of the field.