Recently, convicted murderer Justin Walker posted pictures of himself from his jail cell doing really awesome things like smoking weed, drinking hard liquor and playing with makeshift knives. Just the kind of thing you’d do if you want to, say, get out of prison.

I kid. Seriously, if you’re in jail, don’t do that. Here are five other things you shouldn’t do:

  1. Film a documentary about how you are planning an escape, then try to get it released in theaters prior to the attempted jailbreak.
  2. Write a book about how you committed the crime during your appeals trial. Also, don’t name it “If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.”
  3. Talk extensively with reporters about the ways in which you haven’t been adhering to the terms of your sentence, then allow them to photograph your face.
  4. Commit another violent crime, film it, and upload it to YouTube via your Droid.
  5. Tweet pictures of yourself making a Molotov cocktail.