You may not know this by looking at me, but I’m actually not in college anymore.

Yes. It’s true.

Despite that fact, though, I was still dismayed to read about a recent study showing that female college students are way more stressed out then their male counterparts. Some believe it’s because they take the criticism of professors more personally; others seem to think it’s because, once again, life’s choices so overwhelm us ladies that we’re thrust into states of perpetual paranoia and misery.

But there are some things that you can do if you’re in college — or even if you’re out! — to relieve stress. Perhaps the young ladies of academia aren’t taking enough advantage of the following relaxation methods:

  1. Rub one out. Don’t have a vibrator? Buy one. Really, it’s a better investment then that boring old textbook anyway.
  2. Skip a class. You might think this will only give you more stress, but if you take anything away from this list, take this: I am ten years out of college and I am making you a 100% guarantee that skipping one class will have absolutely no bearing on your future whatsoever. Ride the thrill of deciding — just for two hours! — to spend your time however you want.
  3. Get in your shower and sing loudly. College is the time to be young, carefree, and pretend that you’re constantly in a movie montage. Doing adorable, loud, expressive things relieves tension and also ensures that you’re not taking your sacred youth too seriously.
  4. Stay in while your friends go on a bender. Ha — you thought one of these list items was going to be “get wasted.” But you were wrong. Instead of adding to your academic stress by feeling like you will be socially ostracized if you don’t attend every event on campus, know that it doesn’t matter at all if you stay in by yourself. While you’re home, you can rub one out or sing in the shower. Two birds, one stone.
  5. Cry. You’ve earned it.