sexist superbowl commercial

Hooray! The Super Bowl is happening. I have to be honest, I really don’t know anything about football. However, I do know just how much money goes into dumb Super Bowl commercials, which tend towards a few masterpieces floating in a sea of the lowest common denominator. It’s basically a breeding ground for sexist, misogynistic ads that truly beg the question: what the hell are they selling?

Here’s the 8 most sexist Super Bowl ads I could find, in no particular order. They’re all bad.

1. Audi, 2010

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It’s so hard to be a man nowadays with emasculating women actively trying to ruin their lives with demands that they be “listened to.” Good thing men can drive cars after all of that racket.

2. Go Daddy, 2012

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Go Daddy is so known for their sexist commercials that this is basically parody, but Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels painting logos (they’re selling .co addresses, I see) onto a naked lady’s body is a bit on the nose, even for Go Daddy.

3. Kate Upton’s Carl’s Jr. Commercial – 2012

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4. Miller Lite, 2003
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To be fair, all women are inherently in competition with each other and cat fights are what we call “music.”

5. Fiat, 2012
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This commercial insinuates that being gawked at on the street is a turn on for women (as opposed to a vile, threatening every day occurrence for every women), but oh wait! Hilarious! The woman is a car. What a sexy object. Help me to contain my chortles.

6. Bridgestone Tires, 2009
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Get your ladies to shut up by dismembering their lips. God, ladies just won’t shut up, am I right, nobody?

7. Teleflora, 2009
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As the harping angry flower points out, men don’t want anything to do with ugly girls. Go lose some weight or something.

8. Go Daddy, 2013
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Unsurprisingly, Go Daddy made this list twice. The geeky dude is smart while model Bar Refaeli is sexy (and also not smart). Then they make out. Nobody looks good here.