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I don’t know if this is going to be an article so as it’s going to be a PSA, but it’s happening, so strap in. I want you all to know that, despite my efforts to be healthier and more fit and just generally not a giant garbage human, I fully intend to go into a full-on food frenzy. You know why? Because I’m a lady and I do what I please it’s Restaurant Week here in New York City, and as a lady on a budget, I can’t resist a good deal. Or fancy pasta. Fancy pasta is pretty great, too. 

(Related: How As Told by Ginger Helped Me Define My Personal Style (And My Life))

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Restaurant Week, let me fill you in on all the glory. Twice a year, participating restaurants throughout the city have prix fixe meal deals for lunch and dinner, offering peons like myself the opportunity to eat at (and actually be able to afford) some of the nicer restaurants in the city. It’s all very exciting, particularly for people who enjoy stuffing their face as much as I do. I’ve been known to partake in upwards of five or six reservations per restaurant week. I’m not a hero. I’m just like you.

For those of you who are not saying that it’s totally fine to go to Restaurant Week so long as you just stick to your diet plan, please enjoy the following foodstagrams:

restaurant week

(Instagram/Sara Steinfeld)

There is no such thing as will power where crab cakes, lobster dumplings, and cheesecake lollipops are concerned. None.

And you know what? I’m not even going to feel remotely bad about my decision to eat until all I can do is lay on the floor, moaning. I’ve had a cheat week before, and I found that it actually made me want to get back on track more than it made me revert back to my old ways. I was able to feel the differences in my energy levels and my body overall, and I ended up working harder than before I had decided to subsist solely on pizza and Reese’s Pieces. Food and exercise are weird that way.

(Related: 13 WTF Perfumes That Smell Like Your Favorite Drunk Foods)

So, you know, like I said, I’m not entirely sure if this week’s Above Average is an article or just a warning to all the NYC residents out there to beware my lumbering presence post-Restaurant Week meal, so I’ll leave it all up to you to decide. But don’t worry, I’ll be back in full force next week to try out Warrior Fitness Boot Camp, because what better way to get over a week of constant eating than by getting yelled at by former Marines?