Angry rants against a show about a little kid is a silly thing for a celebrity to do–especially when you happen to have a pretty pathetic career yourself. But don’t tell that to Adam Levine, the most highbrow, intellectually advanced famous person the world has ever seen, one who loves throwing stones in glasses houses and is happy to invite the media to watch.

Levine took to GQ to show the grossest illustration I’ve seen today, as well as to bash “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”:

Seriously, Honey Boo Boo is the DECAY of Western civilization. Just because so many people watch the show doesn’t mean it’s good. So many people witness atrocities and can’t take their eyes away from them, but that doesn’t mean they’re good. That show is literally The. Worst. Thing. That’s. Ever. Happened. It’s complete fucking ignorance and the most despicable way to treat your kids. Fuck those people. You can put that in the magazine: Fuck those idiots. They’re just the worst. Sorry, I’m so sensitive to that—like, I don’t know, man, it’s upsetting. Just to clarify, I said, “FUCK THOSE PEOPLE.”

First of all, stop using the shift key, Adam Levine. You’re not doing it right.

But really, the show is the worst thing that has ever happened? The absolute most horrible thing you can think of? “The. Worst. Thing. That’s. Ever. Happened.”? Not murder, not hunger, not disease, not war crimes, not suicide; “Honey Boo boo” is the worst?

Also: “So many people witness atrocities and can’t take their eyes away from them, but that doesn’t mean they’re good.” Um, what? Nobody has ever said atrocities–which was shitty hyperbole to use here, considering the deeply violent connotation of the word–were “good.” And “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is definitely not an “atrocity,” in my eyes.

As Joanne Spataro pointed out in October, Honey Boo Boo and her family are actually relatively sweet, kind people on their show (and that TLC, which very well may be “the worst” on television, would undoubtedly air any abusive or negative behavior). They’re accepting of homosexuality–a mindset many non-Southerners do not associate with states like Georgia–and the kid seems happier doing pageants than I ever was playing sports or doing plays or other, more “normal” childhood activities. So are they “the decay” of Western civilization? No, I don’t think so.

So while I don’t think “Honey Boo Boo” is by any means good television, I just don’t think Levine is in any place to judge. He’s on The Voice, a televised talent show that–as all televised talent shows do–was created primarily to embarrass, humiliate and occasionally high five people who will never be successful from doing a fucking televised talent show. Oh, and he’s also in Maroon 5.

Brilliant lyricism, brought to you by a 14-year-old's AIM profile.

Forgive me if I don’t take your opinion seriously, dude, but considering you also called pulling out a “foolproof birth control method,” doing so is not a luxury one can afford. I’m pretty sure letting your kid bounce off the walls and do pageants is less damaging to the public than advocating a completely non-safe form of contraceptive.

Of course, he’s not the first: as Huffington Post noted, Joy Behar famously fat-shamed Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson, who is 7-years-old. Now shall we talk “decay of Western civilization”?

Photo: NBC Supplied by WENN