Fellow royal watchers, you and I have some serious work to do. You would think that that by now, the whole world would know about the glory that is Pippa Middleton, what with her ability to wear perfectly hemmed white jeans, her commitment to just one handbag designer, and her absolute rejection of flyaway hairs.

But you would be wrong. Time magazine reports that over half of Americans have no idea who Pippa is:

Speaking of Brits, 52% of Americans have no idea who Pippa Middleton is, despite the “media obsession” over Prince William’s sister-in-law and her mesmerizing backside. Though 32% thought the Duchess of Cambridge’s younger sister was a “British socialite,” others answered that she was a children’s book heroine, fashion designer or actress for adult films.

What, are the Facebook pages, documentaries, cartoons and crumpet art not enough? What do you want, America?