Many of us have difficult relationships with our mothers. We go home for holidays only to be asked probing, boundary-violating questions; our hair is always colored a little too much or not quite enough; and we haven’t yet produced grandchildren. In other words, we are a steady, ongoing disappointment. (Who’s with me?)

But I’m willing to bet that not many of us are international pop stars who are known primarily for our tits, and at the same time have evangelical Christian mothers who sit at home and pray for our souls.

And then decide to put that prayer into a tell-all book.

Like Katy Perry’s mom.

Look — I’ll admit that I haven’t always been so nice to Katy Perry, and I stand by the fact that she’s not my favorite “artist” in the world. But no one deserves the treatment she’s getting from her mother right now. Mama Perry, a.k.a. Mary Perry Hudson, is apparently shopping a book that she claims is neither Christian preaching nor a Perry tell-all, but rather, reports the Daily Mail, includes such delightful revelations about her mother/daughter relationship as this:

‘No mother wants to see the top of her daughter’s boobs. My first instinct was to order her back behind those doors and demand she put something else on…However, I had no problem letting my eyebrows say what I wouldn’t allow my mouth to utter.’

Or this:

‘I recognized the psalmist gift in [Katy’s] performance. Yet she sang out, “I kissed a girl, and I liked it,” while thousands joined her…One part of my heart soared… the other part broke for the thousands of hungry souls being fed something that didn’t nourish their spirit, but fed their flesh.’

Suffice it to say, Christmas dinner is going to be a little awkward for the Perry/Hudson/Brand family this year.