Remember how director Nemo Librizzi loved it-girl/Zac Posen muse/horrible human being Paz de la Huerta’s voice so much that he said “whenever I’m hungry I just ask her to say ‘strawberry shortcake?” And how after hearing that you thought ‘jeez, if someone was always asking me to say food words, I’d probably just get them a sandwich?” Well that and “where does Paz de la Huerta’s magnificently captivating voice come from? Is she from… a planet where they speak like that?” Elle magazine has the answer!

“[she’s from] New York, the accent comes from vacationing in Seville, Spain.”

Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? She has an accent because she went on vacation?

No. No, she does not.

And in this, I hate Paz de la Huerta because she represents the absolutely horrendous 14 year old in all of us. Remember that time you spoke with a British accent because you took a trip to London and had been reading T.S. Eliot? Yes, you do, you were 14, you thought it made you sound “sophisticated” (which is a word you pronounced with some bizarre bubbling of ‘p’s and ‘h’s because you had no idea how an actual British person would say it). In actual fact, it made people think that you were a pretentious person with a speech impediment.

Paz de la Huerta? Stop being 14 and awful. All the goodwill you built up with getting really drunk at the Golden Globes (was it just me? I thought she was a polite – if naked – drunk) is being negated by this stuff. Have a few whiskey sours and start speaking in your human voice, Paz.