Straight teens of America! Are you feeling oppressed by all the existing that LGBT kids have been allowed to do lately? Do you feel your heterosexual unions are threatened by the gay love next door? Are you sick and tired of your hoity toity “state” thinking it’s too good to be friends with your very important church? Indiana special ed teacher Diana Medley hears you, and she is taking action.

This molder of young minds has joined with other Christians in her community to call for a “traditional” prom in response to Sullivan high school’s gay inclusive policy for their regular prom. “We don’t agree with it and it’s offensive to us,” she told WTWO News.

She continued:

“I don’t believe they were born that way. I think life circumstances made them choose that. I think God made everybody equal… I have kids come to me because of their sexual preference. And they know I don’t agree with it, but care about you. And the same thing for special needs. God puts those people in our life for special reasons.”

She also thinks gay people have no purpose:

“No I honestly don’t. Sorry, but I don’t. I don’t understand it. A gay person isn’t going to come up and make some change unless it’s to realize that it was a choice and they’re choosing God.”

Let me get this straight (no pun intended):

1.) Being gay is a naughty, naughty choice.

2.) Just like having special needs.

3.) Diana Medley agrees with neither the gay nor the special needs lifestyles.

4.) God put LGBT kids in our lives for special reasons, even though they have no purpose.

Makes sense to me!

Luckily, there is still a majority of citizens—Christian citizens, even—who think gay kids should be allowed to go to the prom. Says local man Jim Davis, “We shouldn’t be condemning people, and that’s what judgement is. Christ came to save the people, not to condemn them.” What a godless oppressor!

Others have been less diplomatic. Writes Dan Savage:

“Let’s pause here to grieve for all the special education students in Sullivan, Indiana. Students with learning disabilities have it hard enough without getting stuck with a mentally challenged special ed teacher. You know else has it hard enough? I imagine queer kids growing up in Sullivan, Indiana, population 4,249, have it hard enough without having to watch shit like this on the evening news.”

Strong words. If I were party to those meetings, I might point out the essential hypocrisy of letting LGBT kids go to high school but not to prom. Isn’t that condoning the gay lifestyle and oppressing the straight kids, too? After all, you spend a heck of a lot more time at school than at prom. Do you even know how many gay cooties you could catch during that time?

In the end, the “traditional prom” will probably just serve to filter out all the small minded jerks no one wants at regular prom anyway. But if you are nonetheless aggrieved, you may contact Diana Medley here, or sign the Change.org petition here.

(Via The Frisky)