OK, now: we can all nod our heads and participate in the national delusion that Hammer pants, shoulder pads, and cone bras are stunningly fashion-forward, but come on. Pat the ’80s on the head, hand over a boombox and some Fun Dip, and tell them to run along to bed; Mommy’s having dinner with the ’60s to talk about grown-up stuff, and we’re gonna meet the ’70s for drinks after. We’re giving our beeper number and a supply of Sunny D and Austin Powers videos to the ’90s in case there’s an emergency. We’ll be home by midnight.
Just to review, here are a few things the ’60s did way better than the ’80s:
2. Silhouettes. We’re not only talking about the aforementioned Hammer pants; the ’80s were rife with objets d’couture that made the decade’s businesswomen look wider than Lawrence Taylor.
3. Music. Madonna is great, but she transcends mere decade references. The ’80s also brought us Air Supply and Devo – arguably quite awesome bands…but the ’60s birthed the Kinks and the Tempations. Win!
4. Sex and drugs. The sex is self-explanatory. The drugs…well, just take a look at that photo up there. Doesn’t that look like fun?!
5. Bangs. Oh, my Melane Griffith, were ’80s bangs ever unfortunate. The ’60s did this look way better, with soft, cheekbone-grazing layers that created bone structure suitable for a Bond girl.