If you thought the days of a good old-fashioned redneck scandal involving Britney Spears were behind us, think again!
In perhaps the most astounding news out of the Spears’ camp those horse tranquilizer Frappuccino rumors, Kevin Federline’s brother Christopher Federline has filed a petition seeking a restraining order against his ex sister-in-law Britney Spears… claiming that he is the father of 7-year-old Sean Preston Federline–not Kevin, as we all previously believed! Oh, and also that Spears is using this information to blackmail him.
In his filing in U.S. District Court in Tampa, Christopher Federline claims Britney Spears stole his credit card (dubious point #1, though we’d believe it if this were a Lindsay Lohan story, no problem), then she charged more than $4,500 at a comic book store (dubious point #2) and threatened to expose him as Sean Preston’s father if he went to the police. Obviously, this doesn’t sound like a real thing that actually happened.
“I do confess I slept with Britney and I am the true father,” goes the filing, in which Christopher also claims the Spears is “out of control and a maniac.”
In a delightful twist, the case has already been thrown out:
Florida Judge Steven D. Merryday tossed the case, citing the June 2012 case of Romano v. (Kim) Kardashian as precedent. In that case, Gino Romano filed for a temporary restraining order with the outrageous claim he had been assaulted by the Kardashian sisters. Both judges in the Romano v. Kardashian case concluded that Romano’s claims were delusional.
Spears was married to Kevin Federline for two glorious years, marrying in October 2004 and filing for divorce in November 2006. Sean Preston was born September 2005.
We’re sure this is a very troubling times for Spears, so we’d like to offer this message of support. Let the healing begin:
(Main photo via Wenn)