That’s what the poles were for, right? I mean, no firefighter actually heard that there was a fire and hopped on a pole to get there faster, did they? Because that is really undignified. I’m not sure I’d entrust a guy who did that with coming to my house to exterminate a blaze.

Now pole dancing, on the other hand – that is something to applaud! Especially if those doing the dancing are primarily men in their late 30’s to mid-50’s, and at least 50% have bellies made of beer.

But sadly, it looks like the future of pole dancing firemen are uncertain – according to an article in TIME magazine, poles in fire stations are becoming a thing of the past, relegated, as they were, mostly to children who came to firehouses for tours (yeah right):

“’The pole is something we associated with as kids,’ says Scott Wolf, a partner at the architectural firm Miller Hull…”

Apparently the poles posed a bit of a danger, with firemen falling down the pole-hole in the dark of night and walking into the pole when turned to face another direction (drunk strippers seem to do just fine….just saying…).

Although, I will say this. Retired fire chief Ken Willette, who’s interviewed in the article, brings up a good point: “Fire departments are questioning the need for a fire pole and going with regular stairs.”

Stairs. Genius.