When I was a kid, I used to obsessively quote Jim Carrey movies. More specifically, The Mask was the one I found most entertaining; I’d run around yelling, “Somebody stop me!” and pretend I was in that ridiculous “Chick Chicky Boom” scene. Guess what I did not grow up to do? Aspire to kill and eat people! But that’s because I’m not NYC’s  infamous “cannibal cop” Gilberto Valle.

According to Valle, his arousal with “imagining women being abducted and bound by others” began when he saw Cameron Diaz in The Mask (1994). In a scene of the film, Diaz’s character is tied to a tree whilst wearing a dress; apparently, this is enough to jumpstart a potential serial killer’s craziness.

The cannibal inspiration in question.

Valle went on to watch bondage fetish videos on the Internet, leading some people to question whether or not these types of scenes caused him to gain his cannibalistic, violent urges. The answer? No. Hell no.

Don’t get me wrong: I think cannibalism fetishes are creepy and bizarre and make me uncomfortable to think about, to say the least. But the vast majority of people who watch bondage and other fetish videos on the Internet are not remotely interested in intentionally, deliberately harming anybody. The BDSM community is very serious about its members respecting consent, and consent is not really a thing that people such as Valle are concerned with. And The Mask surely is not to blame either — seriously, I watched that movie like 3 times a day as a kid and all I got was an infinite crush on Jim Carrey — but the length and detail at which the matter is described is a little unsettling:

In the flick, Diaz — later nomimated for a Golden Globe for her starring role in “There’s Something About Mary” — gets trailed by two goons and chased into an alley where she’s confronted by villain Dorian Tyrell, played by Peter Green.

Clad in a revealing long black dress, Diaz, playing love interest Tina Carlyle, gets roughly pushed against a wall by Tyrell before being forced into his limo and taken to a casino for the film’s climactic scene.

There, she’s tied to a coconut tree and a ticking time bomb is placed at her feet. Her arms are strung up over her head and her legs are wrapped to the tree with duct tape, before she’s rescued by Carrey’s character, Stanley Ipkiss, a k a “The Mask.”

Not sure how relevant it is that she was nominated for There’s Something About Mary, but all right. What bothers me is how specific they are about exactly what she’s wearing and what happened in an almost sexual or fetishized way. It seems as though they’re actually buying into the idea that her character’s actions somehow led to Valle’s desire to hurt women. Maybe I’m reading too far into it, but I’m pretty sure just, “Diaz’s character was bound and abducted” could’ve done the trick rather than go into such creepy detail.

Anyway, let’s just get something straight: bondage and movies involving any form of bondage don’t cause disturbing thoughts of cannibalism. That would be a totally rational argument if, and only if, you were completely delusional. Movies don’t eat people. People eat people. That is all.

Photos: New Line Cinema