Periods, right ladies? Hilariously, many of my female friends and I have synced up so we’re a bunch of Flowin’ Friends. Menses Friendsies. Sensational Menstrationals. We’re going to make shirts.

There are a lot of things I hate about menstruation. I hate that it marginalizes me as a person to people who think I can’t function while my brain blood spews out of me, I hate that it makes me feel sick and gross, and I hate that so many of those shitty stereotypes are real. I do feel emotional, and I am craving some weird shit. I simultaneously want to be left alone and be smothered with care—food is great for that. It’s care and comfort without having to interact with other humans.

But what I hate the most about periods is the CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE stereotype, as if once a month women unhinge their jaws and squirt an industrial sized bottle of Hershey’s syrup into their mouths. It’s just way too specific. Just chocolate? I want meat, cheese, bread, ice cream, steak, and sushi from that one place I went to once six years ago. Look, when I’m on my period, I want all the food.

Photo: Pass The Sushi