Look, if you are smuggling drugs anywhere in the region of your ladyparts, it is probably best not to send cheerful texts about it in general, and especially not say that you’ve got them in your “coochie”.

So, you know, don’t be like Samantha Kurdilla, who was arrested at the Mexican border after a drug sniffing dog noticed a narcotic smell being emitted from her genital regions. She initially said that is was just because she was smoking pot at a party in Tijuana, but it later turned out that she had thousands of dollars worth of cocaine and heroin in her vaginal cavity. And then there was this!

In addition to the confessions, federal agents retrieved some particularly damning evidence during a search of Kurdilla’s cell phone. Text messages sent to an unknown individual left little doubt as to what Kurdilla was doing south of the border.

“I’m smuggling cocaine and heroin in my coochie,” Kurdilla wrote.

Look this seems like a bad idea for a lot of reasons, namely:

1) This is a weird sext that the other person won’t know how to reply to. Should one reply “I would like to see your coochie after there are no more drugs in it?”

2) See 1 again

3) Whoever gets this and does not respond with concern for the fact that you are a drug mule with heroin in your coochie is a terrible person

4) The police will absolutely, 100% find this text.

Picture via Scarface