django unchained

Director Quentin Tarantino appears to have decided to tackle every human atrocity, beginning with the Holocaust in Inglourious Basterds, and now, in Django Unchained, moving back to slavery. I don’t know about you, but I am very excited for the anachronistic soundtrack that will be featured in his Spanish Inquisition movie. He’s also doing this really, really well. And as with most movies that are done really well, there are moments in Django that are laugh out loud funny. Unfortunately, that means you are probably laughing at someone of some race dying or seeming very likely to die. No matter when you are laughing, you are laughing at the wrong time. It is always the wrong time. It is the wrong time for three hours of this movie. You are having a Django moment.

Here are some solutions to that.

Django moments only exist if your skin is some kind of color. A solution to this is to become a ghost.

Save up your laughter for times no one else would ever possibly laugh, for instance, panoramic shots of the mountains.

Check to see if everyone around you is laughing. Begin weeping.

Only weep. Only weep forever.

Disguise all laughter as sneezes.

In place of laughter, loudly announce “I don’t see color.”

In place of laughter, just apologize. To everyone. Even if you are a Canadian.

Apologize even if you are a Canadian ghost.

Feel free to laugh at the scene where Django wears a whimsicial blue suit that makes him look like an 18th century French aristocrat, though. Everyone can get behind that being funny. This is the only moment in which you are truly allowed to laugh. Save all your laughter for that moment.

Picture via Django Unchained