Just a few minutes ago I read that Today‘s Matt Lauer managed to reach 100k Twitter followers in less than five hours (he just joined this morning.) He’s attributing this to Justin Bieber, because apparently the kid was on the Today show earlier. I wouldn’t know because I don’t get up that early, but if the Twitter tells me something, I believe it.

I’ve been on Twitter for almost two years. When I first started I noticed how many people would say things like “follow me! I always follow back!” I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand that the more Twitter followers you have is some sort of validation for your existence, just as the number of friends you have on Facebook seems to also up your social rank in some weird way. Well, at least in some people’s minds.

I have just over 450 Twitter followers. Yes, I guess this is better that the originally five with which I started, but I’m not actively trying to gain more followers because, well, I really don’t care all that much. If someone wants to be privy the article I write which I post, the Sharon van Etten lyrics that are pretty fucking constant these days and my occasional breakdown about something that really isn’t a big deal, then, hey, more power to them. I just hope I give them an occasional laugh, even if it’s at my seemingly endless falls from grace.

Does anyone genuinely care about how many Twitter followers they have? Is this a “thing” I should start trying to do — get more? Will this make me a better person? Will more people invite me to their cupcake eating parties? Are any of you at home weeping at this very moment because you only have 20 and would like to have 100k just like Matt Lauer? Can we all admit that Matt Lauer can sometimes be overbearing?