When my friend Amy found out she was pregnant with a girl, she narrowed the name options down to two: Daisy and Cassidy. Knowing that my love affair with The Great Gatsby might eventually make me want to name any possible offspring Daisy, she went with Cassidy. I never asked her to do so, and since I wasn’t emotionally tied to the name, I found the gesture to be very kind but unnecessary. If she loved the name and she thought it would fit her daughter, I wouldn’t have been upset in the slightest.
As more and more people around me start looking toward their vagina and thinking it might be a great idea to procreate, the claiming of baby names is getting a bit ferocious. So ferocious, in fact, that I received a mass email from a friend, who isn’t even married or pregnant, listing all the possible baby names she’d like for her future children in order of “fondness.” Of course this evoked an email war that we can simply title “Are You Fucking Kidding Me?”
I stayed out of the back and forth emails between this friend of mine, our mutual friends and some of her friends I had never met. Those who already had kids were extremely sympathetic, while the single ladies were calling her out for being insane because, she’s also single and hasn’t been in a relationship for awhile, so they felt she had zero right to claim a baby name as only belonging to her. When I got bored with the drama, I asked that they remove my email address from the feed, which they did. But I guess the email fury didn’t end well, because this friend in question then posted her intended baby names on her Facebook wall to really insure that no one tried to use them since they were right there for everyone to see. That’s right, in order of fondness once again, is her baby name list just glaring back at all her Facebook friends. Some of us have suggested it might be time for some therapy sessions.
But is this friend really crazy, or is she actually being smart in procuring a baby name years in advance? I’ve heard that this is the type of thing that ends friendships if someone swipes a name that a friend has already chosen. I’m just happy I invented all my baby names. It’s not like someone would want to name their kid Bernikka-Raani-Claussetta anyway.
Photo: Baby Name Wizard