boyfriend-trainerHey ladies! Need a little help getting your man to stop leaving the toilet seat up or throwing his dirty socks on the floor? Look no further than the “Boyfriend Trainer” iPhone/Android game, which promises to be as edutaining as it is disturbing.

This game does away with all that new agey mumbo jumbo like “talking to him” and goes straight to the only language a man understands: violence.

Via Buzzfeed:

In different levels, the player (“the girlfriend”) advances by physically abusing “her boyfriend,” by hitting, slapping, and even strangling him when he “does something wrong.”

The method of inflicting abuse varies by level: There’s “whacking” when he drops a shirt or glass on the floor, and “slapping” when he looks at other women passing by…When he drives too fast, he’s strangled with a rope.

Ain’t nothing confusing about a kick in the nuts! Whaddaya tell a man with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told him twice, amirite ladies?!

Besides the fact that it’s a bad idea to strangle the person who is driving the vehicle you are riding in, I don’t think I need to tell you that this app sends a bad message to kids, who are almost definitely going to be drawn in by the colorful, cartoonish graphics. Can you imagine what kind of shit storm would happen if someone made a “Girlfriend Trainer” app? Women abusing men is just as bad. Basically, don’t abuse anyone, okay?

“But it’s just a game,” someone will say. Well, sure. But the violence here is different from the violence in a violent videogame, in that you are not a robot fighting other robots or a plumber fighting dinosaurs, but a normal person living in the real world, hitting your boyfriend. Apple is under no obligation to distribute apps it doesn’t like, and I’m pretty sure this violates their rule against “apps involving realistic depictions of weapons in such a way as to encourage illegal or reckless use of such weapons.” Apple has rejected numerous apps that show pictures of ladies in their underwear, but apparently this is okay.

The app has already garnered many negative reviews from those who think it’s fucked up to turn domestic abuse into a game, as well as those who simply think “girls don’t act like this.”

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In recompense, I suggest this iPhone developer create an app that gives people real statistics on domestic abuse, dispels common myths like “women don’t abuse men,” and contains links to learn more, get help, and donate.

(Via Buzzfeed Shift)

Photo: Boyfriend Trainer