facebook copyright

First of all, the Facebook copyright is fake. You cannot copyright everything on your Facebook with a status update. That’s not even logic. Second of all, you look ridiculous. You do not need to copyright pictures of you eating pizza in your familial home. No one is after you. No one is trying to “out” those photos. You are insignificant.  You will probably die with some people, and they will love and admire you, but your funeral will be medium sized, and not at Westminster Abbey. At the reception, pizza will be served in memory of you. It will be a little bit cold.

I will probably copyright everything on my Facebook, though, because I plan to be very famous. Maybe the most famous person ever, or at least, like, Naked Cowboy In Times Square level. That would be enough. Famous enough to wear hats in public, that’s all I want.

But I will not use this dumb status, even then. In case you are wondering, it’s the one that runs:

In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, graphics, comics, paintings, photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention). For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times!

(Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook
Wall. This will place them under protection of copyright laws. By the present communiqué, I notify Facebook that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents. The aforementioned prohibited actions also apply to employees, students, agents and/or any staff under Facebook’s direction or control. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of my privacy is punished by law (UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103 and the Rome Statute).

Facebook is now an open capital entity. All members are recommended to publish a notice like this, or if you prefer, you may copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once, you will be tacitly allowing the use of elements such as your photos as well as the information contained in your profile status updates…

Right. That’s not real. This is what Facebook says in their Terms of Service:

For content that is covered by intellectual property rights, like photos and videos (IP content), you specifically give us the following permission, subject to your privacyand application settings: you grant us a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook (IP License). This IP License ends when you delete your IP content or your account unless your content has been shared with others, and they have not deleted it.

Facebook is gonna post pictures of you eating pizza EVERYWHERE.

Go with it. Just go with it. Wear hats in all your photos.

Picture via Facebook