Lately, I’ve noticed some of my friends who are moms curbing their language on Facebook. It usually happens when their kids are around two — a.k.a., old enough for them to have had a mishap in which their little cherub drops the f-bomb, and they realize that there’s only one way they could have learned that kind of language.

Anyway, it’s sort of amusing to watch my friends turn into real-life parents, not just people with adorable little 10-pound accessories that cry and sleep and shit. Here are a few words and phrases that could indicate that you, too, are going mom*:

  1. Goodness!
  2. LMBO (instead of LMAO)
  3. Oh my!
  4. What the heck?
  5. Worried sick.
  6. Isn’t he adorable. (note the use of a period instead of a question mark at the end of this sentence)
  7. Gosh
  8. Ouchie!
  9. Oh noes.
  10. Tushy

*At least half of this list was lifted directly from a cursory scan of my friends’ Facebook pages, right at this moment. I couldn’t make most of this shit up.