bling ring

I went to see a screening of The Bling Ring yesterday. The new Sofia Coppola movie about kids who steal from celebrities is so splashy and entertaining, and Emma Watson looks so great that you almost forget that none of the characters have personalities.

They keep repeating “we had so much beautiful stuff!” In the last scene, I suddenly realized that I did not know anything about who these people were other than that they liked stuff, and reality television, maybe. But that did not stop me from enjoying the movie. So apparently, I am the kind of person who thinks a Birkin bag is a substitute for a personality, and really, I am part of the problem. But the stuff was beautiful. Well, some of it, anyway. There are a lot of 2008-era fashion lessons you can take away from the movie, namely:

  • There was a time when fashion magazines told you to mix leopard and zebra print. It was not a good idea then. It will never be a good idea.
  • There was a time when Lindsay Lohan was considered “an ultimate style icon.” And her sequined dresses were actually pretty cute. She had a moment. Maybe try more sequins.
  • What happened to those dresses with the Peter Pan collars that buttoned up the front? Those were great. They used to be at Urban Outfitters everywhere. No one wears those now.
  • Seriously, all you need to do to make an outfit “conservative” is put on some pearls.
  • The main reason people wore Juicy Couture sweatshirts was so they could unzip them provocatively. They finally make sense.
  • Oversized sunglasses really did look pretty good.
  • Remember those vests that were made of fur or feathers and designed to be worn over tank-tops? Let’s never wear those again, ever. Emma Watson is the only person who makes those look okay.
  • Seriously, Birkins look great. I don’t care if they’re a dumb status symbol with no pockets, I still want one. I want one forever.

Picture via The Bling Ring