This is related to beauty and fashion because it is.

All of us have spent the morning discussing computer games that were not 1) Civilization or 2) Oregon Trail. Look, you think those games destroyed your life, because you played them for like, 6 hours a day, and now every time you see a river,  you’re lik “ford it!” But actually, those games helped you with life. It taught you that you should always overpack. And, at least for me, Civilization got me through my Freshman year seinar on Thucydides because I was able to make a point about how an army that had only triremes was fucked. Just totally fucked. Triremes are the most sinkable ship on the planet, so the battle outcome should have been surprising to precisely no one.

That said – anyone else play Creatures?

creatures norns

This game was supposed to teach you about genetics. You bred this race of big eyed creatures called “norns” and you could download special versions that we different colors or musical progidies. It was a great game for kids with God complexes. And I will say that, despite any other achievement I have in life, one of my top ten achievements will always be that I bred a norn that was half purple and half blue. I’d probably mention that if I won a Pulitzer.

Mostly what that game taught you was that anything with big eyes is absolutely adorable.

I also relentlessly played this game called Afterlife, which was essentially a parody of Sim City. You zoned heaven and hell. It looked like this:

afterlife game

Just like Sim City, you had to set up utilities like re-entry portals and angel/demon training colleges. Unlike Sim City, you could click on any reward or punishment and it would give you a little description of what it was. What I remember most is the hell punishment where you would be waiting in line to be reincarnated, and the line next to you would always look like you were moving significantly faster… until you switched lines.

Also, if you set up too many angel colleges, they’d rebel and overthrow heaven.

Christ, that game was brilliant. It taught me to never switch lines. Ever.

Also, pretty much everyone here was into Sim Ant. I have no idea what we took away from that. A hesitance to step on ants, I guess. An awareness of how ants exchange food.

Okay, your turn, tell us about your favorite childhood computer game. I’m leaving you with this picture.

simant

Pics via Creatures