You’d think it would go without saying that you should never, ever floss your teeth in anyplace beside a bathroom, but some people just didn’t get that memo. Even if you’re able to floss without a mirror in front of you it does not, under any circumstances, give you the right to floss your teeth while you’re walking down the street, having drinks with friends or at a fucking restaurant! This is never an OK thing to do, and those who do it should be collected and shipped off to an island where they can make that a socially acceptable behavior, because in these parts, we’re not having it.
I arrived at the airport fairly early this past weekend for my flight, and since I hadn’t eaten I saddled on up to one of those pub type places to order a salad and French fries. As I played “Words with Friends” while chomping on my lunch, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the man to the left of me was flossing his teeth. Yes! Right there in public at a place where people were trying to consume their food! Not only that, but after he withdrew the floss he inspected it for, what, I don’t know, chunks of food that perhaps he could save for a snack later? I don’t know! All I did know was that he was raised in a barn and should have just stayed there for the sake of humanity. I mean, what if this dude has kids and this is how he’s teaching them to behave in a restaurant? What if his kids have kids and it just grows and grows, then before we know it we’re living in a world that gives a big thumbs up to such a thing? What if, people?
So for those, like this man, who are missing the manners gene, here are the things you should never do in a restaurant. Tragically, I’ve witnessed all of these being done and it doesn’t get easier every time you’re subjected to it.