Now's your chance to have your fuck-ups displayed on television! Yeah!

Now’s your chance to have your fuck-ups displayed on television! Yeah!

In links from both Gothamist and Jezebel that have been emailed to me and posted on my Facebook wall, I learned this afternoon that some production company is looking to make mad bank off the Girls series by creating a reality show. You know, because there isn’t enough pointless reality shows out there, and Hannah’s so-often stumbles are apparently not “real” enough.

I’m not psychic, even if I like to pretend I am, but I can predict this idea by this alleged “Emmy-winning” company is going to be a disaster. That’s what reality shows are: DISASTERS.

The Craigslist ad that was posted on Friday said the following:

Ever feel like life in the big frantic city is just too much? Are you a twenty-something young woman seeking fame, fortune, love or even a hookup with potential? How do you get from here to there when you can’t even get a seat on the L train! Come to a casting call with our Emmy-winning production company and tell us your dreams and woes, your highs and lows, your tales of *** in the city and the outrageous opportunities that have come your way. Is your circle of friends bound together by not just the parties, fights, and brunches but frequent bouts of commiserating over your struggles? It isn’t easy taking the road less travelled, but making it as a writer, designer, entrepreneur, actress/model or glorified dog walker never is!

The real life television show we are making follows the trials and tribulations of an ensemble of wise-beyond-their-years young ladies. We are with you living the dream in hipster Brooklyn and lower Manhattan. Only well educated and cultured extroverts need apply. Are you thinking about that show—”Girls?” Well we didn’t say it but. . that you mention it.

Seriously? Shut the fuck up.

First of all, they have, what I assume is the word “sex,” replaced by three stars, right after dangling the prospect of fame and fortune in front of whoever would want to willingly exploit themselves in such a god-awful way. Next, they seem to be catering to the “hipster” crowd, which is absurd in its own right because hipsters don’t identify themselves as hipsters; hipsters are what non-hipsters call people they think are hipsters. That right there is just simple common sense.

Lastly, they’re only looking for “well-educated” and “cultured extroverts?” Again, shut the fuck up. Talk about a narrow-minded way to make sure idiots steer clear of the casting call, but similar to a hipster, does an idiot even know they’re an idiot? This production company doesn’t seem to be aware of just how moronic they’re being… so, yeah… see the correlation there?

Once again, we have a Sex and the City syndrome situation on our hands. There are only four types of women in the world: Hannah, Marnie, Shoshanna or Jessa; they are all white, straight, come from privileged backgrounds, are well-educated and have decided to try to make a go of it in the now-trendy neighborhoods of Brooklyn. They have a token gay best friend, there is no limit to drama, and each one is equal parts Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte who came before them. End of story; that’s just how life is and if you stop by Brooklyn you’ll see that for yourself.

My head aches from all the times I just rolled my eyes in the last 10 minutes of writing this post.

However, grating sarcasm aside, if you think you fit the bill, then go for it. Just make sure you tell us all about your audition. Hell, maybe I’ll even go for shits and giggles. Although I’m not very extroverted, so that might be a problem; there doesn’t seem to be a moody, scowly role for someone like me. Dammit! And I was so hoping to cross “be in a reality show” off my bucket list.

Photo: HBO