Look, we understand you might be confused on who the voice of your generation is, because there can only be one. It’s probably Sloane Crosley. So, now that we’ve figured that out, here’s a quiz to determine if you are more like Hannah Horvath from Girls or Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City.
1) Do you have a job? Any job?
A) I live entirely off my parents. I have a groovy lifestyle.
B) Yes! I do have a job.
2) Where do you eat cupcakes?
A) In a bathtub. I like them soggy.
B) On a bench, outside of a cupcake shop. At baby showers. And tables. Like a human being.
3) How do you feel about your weight?
A) I have a lot of feelings I will share with people immediately.
B) It’s honestly not something I talk about too much. Though I will relentlessly mock a close friend for gaining maybe 10 pounds.
4) How are your friendships?
A)We steal one another’s boyfriends and talk shit about each other in grocery stores.
B) Despite the fact that I am wildly neurotic, we are genuinely supportive of one another in the “not talking shit or stealing one another’s boyfriends” way.
5) Are you doing any drugs right now?
A) Whatever people offer me. Before I go to hit my parents up for money.
B) Just pot, pretty much?
6) Hey, hows your sex life, buddy?
A) Real bad.
B) Terrific, thanks for asking!
7) Are the men in your life emotionally unavailable?
8) Do the emotionally unavailable men in your life do anything to enhance your quality of life?
A) Absolutely nothing. They won’t even return my texts.
B) They take me out to dinners, and dancing, and give Judith Lieber purses that are, admittedly, very odd.
9) How is your wardrobe?
A) Pretty standard.
B) It is the wardrobe of an actual crazy person. I am wearing a tu-tu right now.
Turn the page for results!:
Mostly As: Hannah Horvath. Please stop being that way. Please, please, please get any job whatsoever. The guy who suggested working at McDonald’s wasn’t entirely wrong except for the stupid opium thing. Your cardigan looks nice, though.
Mostly Bs: Carrie Bradshaw. This is the only time we are ever going to say congratulations to being like someone who was in massive debt because of her shoe collection, but okay, fine, congratulations. You know how to eat cupcakes like a person.