You hate women children, lady writer?  Me too!

I mean, I’m kind of a harpy about this. Therefore, I assumed that Deborah Schoeneman, the writer of  Sparkly Nail Polish, Katy Perry and Frozen Eggs: Meet The Woman-Child (the piece on Jezebel is a portion of her e-book) and I were going to be friends. I thought we were just going to be martini swilling pals doing our best Katharine Hepburn impressions all the time. Deborah had me at dismissing harajuku style, saying:

I’m more inspired by Talitha Getty lounging in a caftan on a Marrakesh rooftop.

Okay, lady! Okay, friend!

I got so into this imaginary friendship that I looked up my new imaginary BFF. Her bio reads:

I’m currently a writer for “Girls,” the HBO series created by Lena Dunham (“Tiny Furniture”) and produced by Judd Apatow.

Wait. WAIT. Deborah and I are clearly in agreement that it’s better to be a woman than a woman child. That’s mostly because children can’t drink martinis, and their tendency to pretend they are in Aladdin would mean you’d always have to stop them from trying to fly of Marrakesh rooftops on pilfered rugs.

Still, is it really fair to criticize Katy Perry for wearing a cupcake bra when you write a show where the main character listlessly eats cupcakes in a bathtub? Or to quip that wearing pink bows is more fun than worrying about a pink slip when, on the show you write, your characters are supported by their parents and can’t seem to hold down any job?

Deborah gripes that when she goes out:

Instead of being like the sophisticated dinner parties I presumed grown-ups had when I was in college, some combination of cupcake, candy and pizza are almost always served — the standard menu for a toddler birthday party.

That’s rotten. However, on Girls characters can’t produce any kind of food but opium tea at a dinner party. If the rise of women-children is troubling, wouldn’t it be better to give women a show detailing how great it can be to be a grown-up? A show that shows that being an adult is something that is fun and enjoyable, and that you can still be interesting even if you have your life somewhat pulled together and don’t only make bad decisions?

I mean, on the other hand, I guess I can now look at Girls as a critical commentary on how we live now, and the problem with young people today, so, hell, martinis back on Deborah Schoeneman! I’ll meet you at the Riad El Fenn. Let’s remember not to carry all our luggage to the airport in a trash bag.