Why does the GOP keep doing this to me? Don’t they know I love capitalism? I probably would have voted for McCain. I mean, I did not, but I considered it until Palin. But every time they throw something up like, “Let’s make abortion funny” I realize I will never be able to align myself with this party, ever. WHY ARE THEY DESTROYING THEMSELVES FOR ME, PERSONALLY?

I don’t know. Spite, maybe? According to Salon:

“How do you make abortion funny?” That was a key question mulled at a major conservative gathering Friday on how to make social conservatism appealing to young people, after an election where Republicans got trounced in the battle for millennial voters (who are are moving even further and further away from the Christian-right on marriage on other issues).

Abortion has to be made funny, the thinking goes, because funny sells on social media, and that’s where one goes to court young people. “You can engage with sarcasm, it’s hard with the abortion issue, but you have to,” said Students for Life President Kristan Hawkins at a breakout panel at the Faith and Freedom Coalition Conference in Washington today on how to win millennial voters. “Unfortunately we have to, because this is the generation that we’ve been dealt.”

I… no. No, that is not ho to win over millennials. I promise you. This is a generation that wants many things. Jobs, mostly. Mostly we want jobs. But I assure you at no time have I ever heard a millennial say, “you know what I need today? A hilarious joke about abortion.”

To be fair, I am not friends with monster people.

Picture via Getty