Pull up a seat, have a scone. Let’s watch this together like we’re in a book club.


Look, I understand that if Baz Luhrman directed Little Women, everyone would be in catsuits and swinging lightsabers. I get that. And I am absolutely going to go see this very good looking movie that appears to bear no relation to The Great Gatsby whatsoever. Because 20’s parties are bumpin’. And I say that in spite of the fact that the trailer is not in 3D yet, which was disappointing because it means that you could not experience shirts in your face .

Look, I’m kind of obsessed with Great Gatsby (I tweet it line by line on Twitter, each night, on nights when I’m in my apartment and have the book handy, which is like half my nights, I guess?) and the thing is – the Great Gatsby is not really a wild, action paced adventure. Nor is Sherlock Holmes or Edgar Allen Poe’s entire life, so this does not see to dissuade modern moviemakers from anything, ever.

But if I may?

Nick Carraway isn’t some cool guy who purrs about “the morals being looser.” He’s a nerd. And very possibly a closet homosexual.

Gatsby was a bootlegger, but his primary emotion, at least in the books wasn’t “sultry menace.” He was, in many ways a sad little boy who kept holding his shirts up for approval and and lying to people in a way that indicated he hunted tigers on the Bois de Boulogne. He is the saddest man in the whole world.

Yes, Tom did bring a string of polo ponies down from Lake Forest, but he does not ride them through his front yard.

But honestly? Who gives a shit, right? 1920’s costumes and lots of sparkle, I’ll see this movie like 20 times and so will you. Right? Right.

Okay, your turn to talk.