The American-version of a royal wedding featuring a one-time sex tape star turned reality show diva and some guy who plays for the New Jersey Nets happened this weekend. Kim Kardashian wore a ridiculous tiara with her veil, the bridesmaids wore white just like Pippa, and a slew of second-rung reality stars showed up to dance the night away. The Kardashian-Humphries nuptials rocked Montecito just like Wills and Kate’s rocked the Mall in London.

After hearing more than once that Kim K’s wedding was just like Kate M’s and thinking “No, it is not!” I scoured history books and encyclopedias – okay just Wikipedia – to determine which members of the British monarchy the Kardashians really match up to.