While zipping around Google recently, I realized that one of the more popular questions across the vaunted search engine was “how to become famous.” Though stubborn autocorrect continued to suggest “how to become anorexic,” the question of the fame seeking yielded 36,700,000 results (“how to become anorexic”? A paltry 147,000). I then decided I must spring into action! With a little help from my own heaving brain, this week’s Illustrated Guide will teach you how to claim the spotlight for your own.

Warning: no one said getting famous was easy. Some may find the following images disturbing.