Do you have regrets? Tell TheGloss your regrettable story in 600-800 words and you could win these designer shades to hide your shameful, shameful face.

I’m sure my biggest regret will be a lifelong regret.

My parents were immigrants from Mexico who fought tooth and nail, against all odds, to each become the first generation of their families to exceed a third grade education and make it into college. They supported their families, help raised their siblings, and graduated from college with top marks. Shortly after they married, they moved to the United States.

I was born in the United States, oldest and the only girl of three. My earliest memory of my parents is being told by my mother that I was going to go to school in order to go to college. I grew up knowing that I had to do well because I needed to go to college. I never imagined an alternative. I loved going to school. I studied hard. I refused to miss a day, even when I was sick (Oh! How I detested my chicken pox!). I was that kid in middle school in an advanced math class, refusing to move into the next math class because I had gotten a “B” my second semester and considered that absolutely unsatisfactory. I had to get straight “A’s.”

Ever since I was young, I dreamed of becoming some sort of health professional so that I could cure the world of sickness and lift the spirits of the sick and weary. As I got older, I realized that I really wanted to go into nursing, no question about it. I loved communicating with people and interacting with them. I never wanted to be a doctor. All of my doctors had been distant, scary… with cold hands.

But my nurses! They were always the ones that made check-ups fun. They told me stories and remembered small things about my last visits and lessened my worries about seeing doctors. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to make people happier while taking care of their health.

Unfortunately, my father was (and is) ambitious. He wanted a doctor in the family. He decided that I was going to study biochemistry and pre-med or there was no way I was going to leave home. Considering that home is Idaho, I wanted out. I accepted. For the last three years, I’ve been struggling with a major for which I have no aptitude. I’ve been failing calculus class after calculus class, miserably retaking each one so that I can get a passing grade. It took me three tries to pass one of them! Every quarter (my school runs on the quarter system), I’ve petitioned my father to let me change my major to anything, even if it’s not nursing. Every time, he has said no.

I’m graduating next year, and after that, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m going to be stuck with a chemistry degree, most likely doing a job I won’t be good at and I’ll absolutely hate. My only hope is that maybe someday I’ll be able to get into a graduate program for nursing and become a nurse practitioner, but the likelihood of that happening with the grades I’ve been getting is close to zero. It’s not that I don’t work hard in school. I do my best.

I ask for help and try to soldier through, but it has been difficult. I’ve lost my motivation to continue, but continue I have. I am trying my hardest to do well, so that someday I might have a sliver of a chance to do what I’ve always dreamed of.

My biggest regret is not secretly changing my major freshman year. My biggest regret is not lying to the two most important people in my life. My biggest regret is disappointing the little girl I once was.