Yesterday, our friend Schnickers was fined $500 and sentenced to two days of community service for being criminally annoying, according to the AP. Apparently, she was on the beach drinking and talking loudly and, the article reports:

“Her lawyer said Polizzi was under the influence of alcohol when she stumbled around the beach in Seaside Heights, using loud language that disturbed other beachgoers.”

Her lawyer, Raymond Raya, went on to say that Snooki:

“was under the influence of some alcohol, and stumbled and tripped into people on the beach. She used loud language on the beach and interfered with the public’s right to quiet enjoyment of the beach.”

I’m sorry, the public’s right to quiet enjoyment of the beach?? I didn’t realize I had the right to sic the cops on people who annoy me! This is wonderful…

But seriously. Listen — I love quiet. I’m not going to lie. I roll my eyes to my friends when kids make a lot of noise in public places. I sarcastically shake my fist at teenage shenanigans. And I get mad when people honk for no reason.

But that doesn’t mean that I want those people arrested. And since disorderly conduct is so subjective — according to AOL, it’s defined in New Jersey as “a wide range of circumstances…a fight, an argument, or some other improper behavior or offensive language” — it seems like one could take the law and bend it according to how one felt about an entire situation. Like, a TV show, for example, or a reality TV celebrity.

So yes, I’m suggesting that our Snooki got treated unfairly, which I would say was solidified by the judge who later called her a Lindsay Lohan wannabe, and rude and obnoxious. Really? Is that really an example of innocent until proven guilty? Cause it sounds more like an example of, “I had preconcieved notions about you and now I get to unleash them in public.” Which, I feel, also probably applies to the people who had her arrested. Not cool.

We got your back over here, Shnooks. Call us.