There’s a new meme making the online rounds today, and it has to do with Hillary Clinton and how much of an ass-kicking motherfucking badass she is. Recently, Clinton was photographed doing something (something…totally awesome) on her phone while wearing sunglasses and looking like Tom Cruise wishes he looked in all the “Mission Impossible” movies. In response, some clever gent or lady created Texts from Hillary, a Tumblr account that speculates on what Clinton might have been saying, and to whom.

Here are some reasons that I wish I was looped into these totally plausible texts from Hillary: