No. Fucking. Way.

I wish, I wish so badly, that I could tell you that what I’m about to write isn’t true.

But I can’t. Because it is true.

Consumerist reports that an ice cream store in London called The Icecreamists will be selling a frozen treat made of Madagascan vanilla pods, lemon zest, and fresh milk from the breasts of new mothers:

“Some people will hear about it and go, ‘yuck’ but actually it’s pure, organic, free-range and totally natural,” said the store’s founder.

“Yuck?” He’s worried about people hearing about this and simply going, “yuck?” No, my good man, this goes well beyond yuck, into questioning not only your sanity, but your common decency.And yes, it is natural, but free-range? Like a chicken? Are you going to screen the women for potential disease? Do they have to eat specific diets? How can this be even remotely sanitary?

Anyway, in case you’re still reading and haven’t left to vomit all of your three meals from today, Consumerist goes on to report that the milk was provided by women who responded to an online posting.