I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again — you can put a camera on pretty much anything and I’ll watch it happily. Paranoid, delusional women from New Jersey? Check. Playmates? Definitely. Polygamous Mormons? Wouldn’t miss it.
But the one thing on TV that I positively cannot — will not — stomach, is the family Kardashian.
I don’t know if it’s the whiny, nasal voices, or if it’s the…never mind. I think it’s the voices. That, and everything that Khloe (poor Khloe) does, from jumping on her sisters like a crazed lapdog to having neither the talent nor the looks to legitimize her fame.
Anyway, I simply can’t tolerate them. Even in my most bored of evenings, even when there’s absolutely nothing else to watch and all I want to do is sit on the couch and mindlessly consume empty calories, I won’t watch the Kardashians.
And that’s why I can totally sympathize with this guy: inmate D.J. Goodson, who is housed at the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections, is suing the Kardashian sisters for emotional distress, to the tune of $75,000, because he was forced to watch their reality shows while incarcerated. According to TMZ:
Goodson claims he’s permanently scarred from watching domestic abuse (a boxing match on the show featuring Kim), emotional abuse (rantings courtesy of Kourtney and “paramour Scott”) and racism (Khloe referring to a baby doll as “the black baby”).
Here’s where I call on a higher power for support. Dear baby Jesus: please let this man win his case. The Kardashians are criminally horrible, far more so than Snooki, bless her heart, will ever be, and this man has suffered enough. He deserves to buy a TV so nice that he can forever block the aural assault that is their voices, never to hear again the nonsense that they continually spew. If you’re asking me my professional, legal opinion (once I toured a law school)? Yes — I do think that this is otherwise cruel and unusual punishment.