70th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel

Oh, god, you know how everyone speculates about the real father of Jodie Foster‘s kids? His identity is something she says she’ll reveal to her two sons when they are 21, but not before. This is the kind of thing people says they will do in movies, and then they die in a car crash the day before the child’s 21st birthday and the child has go on a voyage where they discover not only the identity of their father, but also, themselves.

So, yeah, it’s probably Mel Gibson.

That would explain why she’s had such a close relationship with Mel. Especially because, as a proud lesbian, you might expect Jodie Foster to be sensitive about anyone who seems to discriminate against persecuted groups – which always makes it surprising that Mel Gibson and she are very tight. Because, you know, Mel Gibson says astonishingly horrible things about people, sometimes.

That’s an explanation, I guess. Fathering someone’s children would probably be a pretty good reason to stay in touch with them even if they said really horrible things.

And he kids look like Mel Gibson! A little bit!

Hopefully, Jodie Foster has that information in a safe someplace, just in case anything happens before the kids turn 21. Or this could be like the deep throat, where the actual father turns out to be someone nobody has ever heard of, and Jodie and Mel are just sharing a laugh over this right now.