Justin Bieber, there are some topics you should stay away from, and one of them is abortion. You’re a 16-year-old boy. You have no idea what it feels like to have to decide what fucking kind of cereal to buy, let alone what it would feel like to be pregnant when you didn’t want to be, let alone how it would feel to have to decide what to do with that pregnancy.

And yet! None of that stopped Biebs and his hair from laying down the law about what’s right and what’s wrong for women his age and many decades older to do with their bodies. I’m always happy to have a child tell me what to do with my vagina, aren’t you? Here’s the quote from Rolling Stone:

He does have a solid opinion on abortion. “I really don’t believe in abortion,” Bieber says. “It’s like killing a baby?” How about in cases of rape? “Um. Well, I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don’t know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven’t been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that.”

Jesus Christ. When the biggest decision you’ve ever made on your own is probably…well, in Bieber’s case, nothing at all…you really, really shouldn’t be weighing in on how women decide what to do with unintended pregnancies.

I mean, didn’t your creator, Usher, program this into you, little robot boy? Usher, teach you how to avoid hot-button political issues during interviews? Shouldn’t you have stayed away from this one?

Bieber didn’t just make some totes rando comment about abortion, either. “It’s like killing a baby” is heavily, heavily, heavily charged political rhetoric.

And for that reason, I aaaaaalmost felt sorry for little Biebs when I read this, in the same way that I aaaaalmost felt sorry for George W. Bush when he was elected president, in that both Bieber and Bush were in way, way way over their heads. But Bieber, let this be a lesson — you’re a self-proclaimed virgin. You’re 16. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Repeat after me: “no comment.”