I do not know what I did in my life to deserve the new Lady Antebellum video, but it must have been something good. The short film for “Bartender” stars Kate Upton in a fashion-forward but uncharacteristically unsexy red leopard print dress gets served way, way too many drinks by Tony HaleArrested Development’s Buster Bluth—as a mixologist with a neck tattoo.

Why am I never invited to these things?

Upton plays a lady who is sad about a breakup, so she goes out for crazy fun drinks with her friends. At some point it becomes a metaphorical boxing match between Upton and Hale, with him serving her a series of increasingly complicated cocktails while she tosses them back without any visible effect. I’m not entirely sure what Hale’s goal in the competition is, but if it is to get her drunk he fails, because they apparently make it through 15 rounds of drinks–some of which were straight martinis–and Upton doesn’t even look wobbly.

Upton does a decent job in this thespian turn. One gets the sense that she knows what it’s like to party. But of course she is completely upstaged by Tony Hale, whose tightly wound mixologist is crafting her complicated beverages with rosemary and paper umbrellas and tiny little flamethrowers, while Upton just keeps tossing them back blithely and demanding more.

As great as Hale is, he and Upton are both upstaged by Kate Upton’s jewelry. She gets to wear a very pretty spiky jeweled ear cuff and two-part stud earring that actually do the impossible and draw the eye away from Kate Upton’s ridiculously perfect face.

(Video: Youtube/LadyAntebellumVEMO)