After the nightmare.

It should come as no surprise that Kim Kardashian hates heroes, but she may prosecute them, too. Kardashian, as you hopefully know, was flour bombed by a young woman on the red carpet in London last week. She initially tried to play it off but now she tells E! News that she may lawyer up: “I said earlier no I wasn’t [going to file a complaint]. I am just going to think about it, because I don’t want someone to think they can really get away with that. So we are going to handle that.”

Don’t worry, it gets way more ridiculous and self-obsessed.

Kim was in the midst of promoting her presumably awful new fragrance True Reflection at the event, into which someone had also shoehorned a benefit fot Dress for Success when the not-yet-identified woman hit her with a bag of flour. A bigger celebrity might laugh it off and Kim did at first because she’s just like you. Then she got thinking about how it was, like, assault:

“I was laughing it off earlier and, you know, I think that is the only thing I knew how to do at the time. But I just think it is such a shame that someone like that…would ruin an event, or attempt to ruin an event, that was based around, not only my fragrance, but this organization, Dress For Success. I mean that’s what the event was about. These women flew in from all over the country to be a part of this event, that are underprivileged women, that really got the shine taken away from them a little bit. That’s why I am calling in now. I feel bad that it was kind of derailed from that.”

Please take a moment to laugh at the idea of Kim Kardashian trying to make something like this about anyone other than herself. Now come the delusions of grandeur. It could have been anthrax, you guys!

“Now that I think about it and had some time to digest it. I think, ‘What if that was some other substance? What if that person had a dangerous weapon?’ It’s scary. And what’s even scarier is this woman acted as if she was a part of the press. She just came out of nowhere! And so we are definitely changing things up a little bit, amping up security, taking some measures, and…I’m gonna definitely deal with it because it is not acceptable.”

The only way I’ll watch one of Kim’s shows is if she loses her mind and descends into a pit of paranoid madness, trading in all her dumb Christian Louboutins for tissue boxes. That would be great.

(Photo by Getty)