There’s a problem in the world that needs fixing: Kim, Kanye, Khloe and — wait, there’s another K that’s famous right? Oh, yeah, Kimye’s Fetus — are all more famous than Kris Jenner. Considering most evidence points to the theory that Jenner will literally die if somebody else gets more attention than herself, this balanced must be restored. Having her own show where she can be in the spotlight is an obvious choice; after all, once Kimye’s baby arrives, Jenner will probably only have like 10 minutes of screen time every again.
Of course, giving advice is only the next rational step for a woman who doles out such wise words as “everyone needs a fresh set [of fake breasts] every 20 years” and fat shames her own daughter. The sad thing is that people will watch this, because people will watch just about anything — especially something packaged with a member of the Kardashian Clan (would’ve alliterated, but I assume you understand my reasoning for avoiding a K’ing in this kase).
The Kris Jenner show, titled “Kris” because the industry is clever like that, will be run on Fox-owned stations for six weeks to see how it does around the country in markets like New York and Los Angeles. It will supposedly “offer daytime viewers a daily jolt of celebrity guests, fashion and beauty trends; plus a mix of lifestyle topics – all through the distinctive and unpredictable perspective of Kris Jenner.” Sounds new! In the same way that shimmery off-white gowns at awards shows are fresh.
She’ll also serve as the show’s executive producer. She said, “This is something I have wanted to do all my life so it’s definitely a dream come true!” Not to be an asshole, but if it’s something you wanted to do your whole life and absolutely had the financial means as well as the connections to start a career in fairly easily, why wait until the twilight of your reality television career to do so? Then again, I can only assume Kim/Khloe/Kan’t Remember will do the same thing in twenty years. But for now, it’ll just be Jenner doing her please-don’t-forget-me thang.
Seriously, have you ever seen a celebrity look so fucking happy about being stalked by paparazzi after leaving dinner?: