Perhaps sensing that her body acceptance initiative was painting too sane, reasonable and likable a picture of her to be fun anymore, Lady Gaga has written a hilariously awful diss track about her perceived enemies, New York Times fashion writer Cathy Horyn and her 86-year-old boyfriend, Art Ortenberg.
I say “perceived” because the only reason she has beef with these people in the first place is because of her and Oscar De La Renta‘s poor reading comprehension. Once upon a time, you see, Horyn used the phrase “hot dog” to refer to Oscar De La Renta, which, rather than comparing him to an unnaturally red meat product, was meant to describe his tendency to design elaborate and showy outfits. Nevertheless, De La Renta took offense, and took out a full-page ad in WWD to say so. Next, Lady Gaga weighed in to say De Le Renta’s public misunderstanding was “chic,” at which point Ortenberg wrote a letter to the editor “cudgeling” Gaga’s previous assertion in V Magazine that seasoned critics’ opinions are no more valuable than those of the average uninformed Internet commenter.
Never one to know when to fold ’em, Gaga wrote a cartoonishly bad battle rap verse about Horyn and Ortenberg, which she performed in a pitched-down voice at the Thierry Mugler show in Paris. (It starts around 1:15.) The lyrics in question:
Ortenberg, you can suck my dick
Walk bitch, you ain’t Lady Gaga
Nicopanda got style, trick
Cathy Horyn, your style ain’t dick
Walk a mile in these foot-high heels
I run in these, you ain’t runnin’ shit
You chew beef, I wear meat
Then stay on top of the — I-I-I’m getting fat, and so is my bank.
I’m on a sold out world tour, bitch.
On the one hand, this whole thing is very stupid. On the other, Gaga is funny when she’s mad, and I do appreciate the line about how her bank’s corpulence is growing along with her own.