19th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation's Oscar Viewing Party - Arrivals

By now, you’ve heard that former Scientologist Leah Remini has left the “church” and is planning to write a tell all book about life inside Scientology. Apparently, she decided to leave Scientology behind after ideological differences with the Church’s enforcer villain cult overlord Big Cheese David Miscavige. Remini began to have serious doubts about Scientology when she started questioning the whereabouts of Miscavige’s wife, Shelly Miscavige, who has not been seen publicly in over six years.

Jezebel pointed us in the direction of The Underground Bunker, which explains some of the mystery surrounding Shelly:

In late 2005 or early 2006, Shelly was transferred from Scientology’s International Base near Hemet, California to a secret compound near Lake Arrowhead in the mountains above Los Angeles. This compound, the headquarters of the Church of Spiritual Technology, is home to only a dozen or so Scientologists who are completely cut off from the outside world. We’ve been told that Shelly has been there for the past six years. But Miscavige and his attorneys have so far refused to publicly confirm her location there, and they have not produced her to confirm that she is in good health.

Remini filed a missing person’s report with the LAPD, which the LAPD has closed today, according to TMZ. The LAPD found the report to be “unfounded,” and apparently had a face-to-face meeting with Shelly Miscavige. The LAPD are predominantly cartoon cops sitting in Randy’s Donuts who stuff a baker’s dozen down their throats while making racist comments and arresting people who look at them like they might steal their donuts, so I’m glad we put our best minds on this.

I don’t know. Just because the LAPD was able to see her in person (allegedly), that fact alone doesn’t confirm that she may be being held against her will or brainwashed. This sounds like a conspiracy! How do we know that it wasn’t an IMPOSTER? Or a secret NSA operation? Could the Illuminati be behind this? Someone get Jay Z on the phone! I want a face-to-face meeting with him to discuss this. THE DA VINCI CODE!

Story via Jezebel // Photo: Getty Images