You know what I hate? When I’m walking down the street and some fuckface is all, “smile!” I’m like, “fuck YOU, dude. I’ll fucking smile if I feel like smiling, and right now, I feel like punching you in the fucking face.”

It really bothers me because most of the time, I’m in a perfectly good mood. Not smiling isn’t an indication of being down in the dumps — it’s just how my face naturally looks.

And that’s why I feel for these ladies who Maxim has described as always looking “like they want to start an argument.” It’s just their fucking faces, Maxim, you fucking idiot. Here are some of the photos that Maxim used to illustrate their point, and some of my own captions that describe what I suspect the ladies are really thinking: