"I know who ruptured your bladder and caused severe nerve damage to your back and hip."

Look, unusually when we talk about strip clubs on ladyblogs, it’s about the bottomless anxiety they’re supposed to inspire in us or how surprisingly fun they can be. It never occurred to us, however, they could also send people to the emergency room.

Patrick Gallagher of Lansdale was celebrating the end of his bachelorhood in late 2010 at the Penthouse Club in Port Richmond, Philadelphia when he was invited onstage for a lapdance (as part of the club’s special “bachelor package”). He was then instructed to lie flat on his back beneath a pole while dancers performed sultry operations on or around him. Unfortunately, things took a rather violent turn when–per a suit Gallagher just filed–one of the dancers in question slid down a stripper pole and landed on him so hard that she ruptured his bladder. Or, in the words of his lawyer, “From a great height, she launched herself down onto his abdomen.” Pure poetry.

Gallagher was then left in such pain that he was forced to leave the club. The next morning, he went to the hospital, where doctors “diagnosed a ruptured bladder that required surgery to repair.” He also, allegedly, suffered nerve damage in his back and hip. Gallagher is seeking at least $50,000 for medical costs, pain, humiliation and mental anguish.

Also of interest, Gallagher’s lawsuit is one of several filed in recent years against the club. Per The Daily News, “The other lawsuits allege a beating by bouncers, a slip-and-fall injury, overserving of alcohol and the unauthorized use of a woman’s photographs in club advertisements. The club also caught headlines last November, when police arrested seven dancers and a manager on prostitution charges.”

(Photo of Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me via Wenn)