Are you a car or a top hat? The token you chose as a child while playing Monopoly determines everything about your chances for happiness. If you chose the iron piece, you are dead now, and have been replaced by a cat. So I guess you are not very happy.
Come on, internet! A cat? As if we weren’t inundated with enough cats already? What’s next? Replacing the thimble with a tiny, alloyed Justin Bieber?
This is the crowdsourcing version of a company market-testing a name for a professional sports team. You end up with the generic (the Heat, the Thunder) instead of the peculiar and unique (the Knicks, the Red Sox).
And while the iron has always been a tad inexplicable (Were you a housewife from the 50s? Steaming the competition?), it at least had the virtue of being a classic. In fact, it was a member of the original six metal tokens introduced in 1937, surviving purges in later years that killed the cannon.
Well. It was bound to happen. I am sorry. I am sorry, iron men.
Monopoly graphics via Parker Bros via The First Novels Club