Another year, another batch of Halloween costumes that people are guaranteed to do in spite of sensitivity, unoriginality, and common sense. In 2013, I made a list of the 13 Most Offensive Halloween Costumes You Should Never Do, as I had witnessed so very many awful ideas that people actually wore out of the house, proving that they either have zero friends, all their friends are idiots, or their friends hoped social media shaming my teach them a lesson.
Unfortunately, try to warn people as we might, they nevertheless go through with these terrible costumes. We even give them tons of ideas for fun, creative ones! Whether they’re making fun of domestic violence, parodying an entire culture, or just good ol’ blackface, these are the offensive Halloween costumes you should never do.
1. Ray Rice and Janay Palmer
Did you know that 1 in 3 female victims of homicides each year were murdered by their partners? Or that 1 in 4 of women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lives? Or that dressing up as an abusive football player who nearly got away with knocking his then-fiance unconscious and the aforementioned abused fiance actually makes you a terrible human being? Statistics are fun!
A lot of people are dying of ebola right now. Don’t dress up as somebody dying from it, don’t dress up as somebody dead from it, don’t dress up as the virus at all. Good talk, everyone.
3. Michael Brown
(via Huffington Post)
Remember how a lot of people did Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman Halloween costumes in 2013? Those same garbage humans are the kind who would do a Ferguson-related costume, like dressing up as shooting victim Michael Brown. Even though I’m sure most of those people aren’t reading this right now, on the off-chance one of ’em is, hi: please don’t do this, holy shit.
4. Robin Williams
I’m anticipating Dead Robin Williams costumes because people suck that much, and people always do “Dead (insert recently deceased celeb’s name)” costumes. Show some respect for his family and don’t do that (though going as a fun character he portrayed would be awesome).
5. Or Any Other Celebrity Who Recently Died
(via Media Bistro)
There’s a difference between dressing up as a dead celebrity, and dressing up as a Dead (Celebrity). For example, Marilyn Monroe passed away decades ago, so dressing up as her character in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes isn’t offensive the same way that dressing up as Steve Irwin with blood all over is. In fact, dressing as most recently deceased humans is bad. I may despise Paul Walker, but that doesn’t mean I think it would be a good idea to run around dressed as him dead for Halloween. And honestly, even though I think there could potentially be a tasteful way to honor Joan Rivers, it happened so recently that it’s probably best to skip it. Here’s the way I think of it: if your relative just died, would you really want to see a bunch of drunk college kids snapping selfies while doing shots of vodka dressed as your dead relative? Especially one emphasizing the way your loved one died? Eh, probs not.
6. Boston Bombing Marathon Victim
This one ties with the above Trayvon Martin costume for Shit We Seriously Never Thought People Would Do, and yet multiple people did.
— Jillian Elizabeth (@JilianElizabeth) November 1, 2013
7. Rihanna and Chris Brown
While I think this year’s Chris Brown and Rihanna couple costume will be Ray Rice and Janay Palmer (I hate that I just had to write that, oh my god), I’m sure there will still be some lingerers who insist that dressing up as a brutally beaten woman and her unreasonably horrible ex-boyfriend is hil-aaaarious. (It’s not. And it’s outdated.)
8. Any Cultural Stereotype, Really
(via Halloween Costumes)
Don’t dress up as a “China Man” or an “Indian Warrior Princess” or whatever the generic names for cultural stereotype costumes made of cheap polyester and spandex are. Oh, and don’t get them for your kids, either.
9. Yes, That Includes “Terrorists”
Speaking of Chris Brown up there, remember that type he dressed up with his buddies as “terrorists”? Yeah, don’t do that. In fact, don’t take any cues on social norms and acceptable behavior from Chris Brown, today or ever.
10. James Holmes
One might argue it is best to simply not dress up as any mass murderer, period.
Click to the next page to see the makeup style you should never do, the child sexual abuse cases humans actually have been dressing up as, and more offensive costumes!
11. Priest Molesting A Child
12. Jerry Sandusky
(via Daily Dot)
Speaking of which, let’s not trivialize another of the biggest child sexual abuse cases in our nation’s (very recent) history, please.
— McClutherness (@bmitchelf) November 1, 2013
What about “child being forced into oral sex with an adult” screams “brilliant costume idea” to some people?
13. Malaysia Airlines Victims
(via Angry Asian Man)
The tragedies of Malaysia Airlines Flights 370 and 17 in 2014 were devastating to hundreds of families, so one would hope that nobody will dress up with this theme. And yet, people definitely did that with Asiana Airlines’ crash victims, so…yeah. I’m putting this one on the list of “don’t do this shit, please.”
(via The Independant)
Shockingly Obviously, people are still upset about the Holocaust. Do not be “that guy” at the party who thinks it’s really funny to shave your stubby little stache into an even smaller, stubbier stache and do a bunch of Nazi salutes. Pro-tip: Everyone will think you’re an idiot, nobody will be laughing “with” you. I’m looking at you, Prince Harry.
16. The Twin Towers
Speaking of things we’re all still upset about, 9/11 was pretty awful, so maybe don’t dress up as “Sexy Twin Towers”…ever.
17. Anything Involving Blackface
No, it is not funny. No, it is not impeding your freedom of speech to tell you that this is offensive. No, your rights are not being trampled. No, you are not “paying tribute” to a famous black person by dressing up in blackface. No, it doesn’t matter if your name is Julianne Hough. No, you can’t do blackface because Nick Cannon did whiteface. Same goes for Snoop Dogg. I don’t want to have this discussion again. Go to sleep, no dinner for you.
What’s the most offensive costume you’ve ever seen on Halloween? Tell us in the comments!
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