I Googled "Text Me" and got this. How could I not use it?

It’s true. The text message is officially 20 years old today. Should we dare to wish it a happy birthday or give it the finger and march off in anger instead? It killed a lot. It’s like how video killed the radio star, but worse. It killed so much more. It murdered words; it took the intimacy of phone conversations and hacked it to bits with its fancy ways and helped in dissolving humanity! Yes, that’s what it did.

Do you remember the first time you got a message that read: “C U L8R,” or “LMFAO,” or “OMG?” I do. It was scary. It was sad. I had no idea what was going on, and being too embarrassed to ask, went to Google. I still don’t have any clue what most of it stands for and today I just learned that “SAL” means “such a laugh.” WTF? OMG. Hlp me pls.

Or what about that first time you were either asked out on a date or dumped via text? Ah, yes, now that’s where memories are made! And to think it all started with a properly spelled out “Merry Christmas” message from software engineer Neil Papworth to Vodafone director Richard Jarvis.

But we’ve come a long way from properly spelled out words, and even further from face-to-face contact. We’ve even evolved into a people who use texting for sexy times. You know who’s condemning Papworth and Jarvis today? Anthony Weiner — and thousands of others who thought cock shots are all the rage.

Technology gods, why hath thou forsaken us? You may have made things easier, but you also took so much away. How do we make amends with the way things are compared to how they used to be? Where is Jane Austen when we need her? Mr. Darcy? Anyone? Can’t we bring back needlepoint in the salon again instead? Pls?

Are you grateful for the texting revolution or do you think it’s an utter nightmare? Let’s discuss.


Photo: MemeGenerator