Paris Hilton has wisely stayed out of the limelight in recent years, probably following that one time when South Park spoofed her life and career in an episode called “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset.”
But as of today, she’s back — and not because anyone saw her vagina. No, she’s back because she dropped another single. The single is called “Drunk Text,” and in it, she performs some spoken word over a totally generic house beat. The YouTube video was apparently released and then immediately pulled, then pulled again off sites Vimeo.
“No one is safe in the Twittersphere anymore.”
“If you take the word sex, and mix it with texting,it’s called sexting. When you add drunk sexting, the words just don’t make any sense.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“It was just a drunk text…it was just a drunk text…this is the last time…I’ll ever drunken text.”
If this song were some kind of Maude Lebowski experimental sound piece, honestly, it would be brilliant. But it’s not. It’s Paris Hilton. So it’s hard to know what to think. Also, I’m probably not going to win any fans for saying this, but while Paris’ lyrics are laughably and utterly vapid (unless they are a hoax and/or a commentary on modern-day club and dating culture, the same way that Courtney Stodden might be a 35-year-old performance artist), she sounds kind of eerily like Madonna during the spoken parts of songs like “Vogue” and “Justify My Love.”